Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
