i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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