I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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