i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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