I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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