Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
