I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
