I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
