This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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