garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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