I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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