dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize