My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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