Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
