any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Less talking, more tequila
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I want a musical about memes.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
