Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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