Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
