Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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