found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
