You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
