i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
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STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close