Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina