i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow