Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.