Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.