When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.