I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
