He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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