Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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