Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i love accidental penises.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
