The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I want to make a zoo with you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
