dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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