Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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