we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
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We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
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Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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