I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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