In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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