I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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