dude i'm inner monologue high
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize