You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
