I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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