there's paper in my vomit.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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