That's when you crack a 10am beer
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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