no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
