Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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