tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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