just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
