bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
