Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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