Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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