I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
