two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
