Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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