you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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