Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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