i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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