He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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