of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize