you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
