Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize