i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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