i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
